update

I am down to 183 when a month ago i weighed about 210 205 so im on a roll, its 7 in the morning and i just got up, i know early right but its all cool I went to sleep to early last night. Yesterday I watched two Good movies, The first one was freedom writers, that was a very good movie and than I watched the last house on the left which also was a good movie, a bit weird though but it was ok. On a personal note I feel like crap because I am sick again, I am not sure what is up with my body but I think I have like low white blood cell count or something, its like for the past month I am sick every other week when usually I never get sick, I just sneezed like five times in this whole blog already. Its crazy. Now smoking almost done 4 a day well yesterday I was off and I smoked like 5. I am really hoping I can stick with it, and like not go back to a pack a day or something. I have been trying to hang out with some old friends lately but they just dont seem interested in having anything to do with me anymore so I have givin up. I feel like florida is taking forever to get to, i have so much i have to do within a months time that its stressful but its gotta be soon, very soon. My mother and I had one of our deep talks yesterday and she finally agrees with me leaving to florida. I want her supoort before I go. I posted a blog about Jessica and she is stalking me, like a thousand texts a day, and its getting annoying. My cars brakes are shot out and they need to be replaced, I dont even like driving it, and I think what happened the other day was the main event I was going to work and some a hole peeled out in front of me and I had to like literally slam on the brakes and ever since they are like scratching, it sounds like the girl from the grudge is living in my tires. A update on my job, my store manager no longer hates me we are actually getting along. Thats a plus especially for my transfer which is gonna be really different because I am transferring to a food lion thats like located right beside the beach and yea thats cool but its gonna be nothing but tourist the whole time, with attitudes more than likely. Who knows. The main thing I am doing is keeping God right beside me at every choice I make and everything I do, sometimes it gets hard when my mind starts to wonder off but somehow God saves me when that happens, like my brakes go bad and it makes me think well crap I need new brakes instead of thinking about other things. A plus? maybe lol. Its now time to admit that I do not want to be a nurse anymore, as a matter of fact I dont wanna be in the hospital field, I have decided to go with music. Its like when I play the guitar or I start playing with fruity loops or something I always get in this world where I am happy which on the inside most of the time I am not, I fake smiles everyday just to pass by but behind closed doors you will see my frown, I need to do what makes me happy. I dont think nursing would anymore. My mom told me we all fall and we get hurt and she told me I have to pick myself up and I really feel like maybe I have just been crawling, I mean ya im doing things to make me a better person as far as trying to quit cussing and smoking and losing weight and stuff like that but those are just things on the outside, I need to learn how to make my heart beat and be ok with just me. I will succeed. I promise