Sad

So like for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been running before I go to work or like early in the morning well I usually pick this spot off of columbia rd beside firehouse to run at, its like in the suburbs area. Anyway I was off today and I am like well I am gonna go run but I didnt feel like driving out there this time, so I thought I could go to the grovetown trails. Which I havent been there in a long time and I really dont like going there or would I want to normally but I thought I could handle it afterall it was just to run. Well I get there and like I immediately start thinking about the past but I was like Im gonna be ok I can do this, so I cut on my mp3 player and started running, and I get down the trails and all and I see a puddle not a very big one like the one from a long time ago but big enough, and when I saw it like I just stopped and just sat down and started thinking about things, Still to this day I feel confused, I pray and God hasnt sent me one sign not to move to florida so I guess thats a plus, but just my life really feels just sucky. October is coming up and I really really hope I am not here on a special date off the month. I talked to an old friend yesterday, and she has had her problems in her relationship but they are getting through it, which I am proud for them. She was telling me that I will find someone for me, I told her that I am not looking. and she said well they will come to you and Immediately I thought if they did I would just run away, Like i just did 2 weeks ago. I feel like I could never trust anyone. I have so many insecurities it drives me insane. I know that I want what I cannot have and I have come to terms with that, but why do sometimes I still feel as if I need it, especially when the thing you think you want or may need doesnt even care and is already with another person. Its really hard letting go but I think its safe to say that when I do move, I know I wont be with anyone probably till after college, but hopefully the new surroundings will help me start over.

Rascal Flats-I'm movin on