my birthday

kinda lame I am getting old, now 22 ha. it was ok I suppose I really only ate cake and ice cream and hung out with brandon for the rest of the day, went to the mall best buy and the kawasaki dealership, not to much of anything so I am getting off peace.

Today sucks

well I woke up to go get a tattoo from my buddy pj, turned out excellent and than I came home and got ready for work and left for work and on gordon highway a idiot swerved me off the road causing me to smack into a guard rail going 60 my car isnt to bad but its not the prettiest thing in the world I am still kinda upset but hey it happens right?
well later peace

weird day

So I go into work only to find out that I was actually off today, so on the way out tiffany needed a ride home but we ended up hanging out and going to the mall and what not it was a cool day, than went to pjs and well he is giving me my tattoo tomorrow so thats about all that happened today.

farewell

If I could bend down to your level I would but my knees simply would never let me go that far. Its sad how someone can just twist things around to make it seem like they are better, which I always stick to what I say I dont believe I am better than anyone else but I do believe I have a better heart than others. I see that some people will turn your friends around on you and thats fine because those people are just upset that they are wrong. What else is really really sad is when someone does something and tries so hard to make it seem like they never did, ya know cover it up. They will post things and make blogs about it to try to pull them out of reality, those people are the people who are sad. really really sad. What else is sad is when someone says something about someone in a nice way like oh they are a good person and they deserve happiness and the next day call them pathetic im not sure. oh and by the way you are not the love of my life because God simply wont let me love something so evil. I mean it would be a sin to be in love with a bad bad bad bad person, you can win everyone on your side, all of my old friends and they know who they are, you can twist things around to make yourself sleep better at night and wake up to whatever that is. hobbit. I am tired of making blogs about devilish things but Im done trying to prove my point. You are evil and always will remain that way. Btw hate to through this out there but you say while you were with me you were falling away from God? but when in fact at your old job you jacked some guy off in a bathroom??? hush your mouth and quit sending rumors about me. first off you bought my best friend in by saying me and him are gay together?? just to see if I read your blogs and yea and I do so what, your an ex its normal its the way it goes, I hate to admit something but idk what there is about you to love anymore. everything you once were faded away. I remember while we were together and we would ask eachother if a year ago we saw us together what would we think, and we were like oh wow golly that would be crazy, well if the time we were together and we saw a pic of how things are now idk if you would be shocked but I would be disgusted of how you turned out and I am disgusted, go ahead write something about me saying oh shut up your a bad person and bla and your just mad about who im with now. I am not mad anymore just im confused about how someone at one time could be a good person and turn out that way. So go ahead say something because I swear your name will never be in anything I write ever again. its done. because I have my heart back. Hope you find yours
GOODBYE

I am exhausted

So woke up like really early like 830 early, got dressed went to advance auto to get my brake pads, came home put some raggy clothes on and changed my brakes, by myself with a youtube video lol. than took a shower got dressed again and went to my brothers to meet him and go to the hospital and see Lydia his baby, SO adorable. I left and came back home and took a nap and than brandon came over while I was asleep and scared the hibbidijjibbidies out of me, we had a long talk about some issues yesterday so I feel better, its almost 11pm and I am like dead tired and ready to go to bed

:(

My cars brakes sound like the great depression, it is insane, so I am home all alone and probably all day tomorrow, and brandon doesnt have gas so which sucks majorly, like
i have gas but no brakes, so its just kinda gay. I went to the gas station to get my daily fix, vaults I LOVE THEM, I dont feel complete until I drink one so I end up drinking like 5 a day everyones like thats unhealthy but heyy im losing weight anyway so ha. My sister is going to Ireland for school which is interesting because I have never left the country. But I am glad she is in school and everything. which reminds me Jacskonville tech wont just like give me the fax number so I have to do all that when I get there. I will update more later

'Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but when you turn your attention to other things, it will come to you and sit softly on your shoulder."








thought I would just throw that quote for my post of the day since im exhausted

When I am down

I watch jonlajoie youtube videos they are so funny, one of the lyrics out of the verses out of this song he made and no usually I do not cuss but im just copying and pasting what he says
Like Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulkamania,
Every year he travels to attend WrestleMania.

It may come as no surprise that he’s never had sex,
but it doesn’t bother him ’cause he has the internet.
He jerks off to freaky shit like 2 Girls 1 Cup,
he’s fucked up I tried watching it I fucking threw up.

horrible language but here is the video of his everyday normal crew

Applause for google adsense paying me on time

sick

blaa

Interesting day. My brother had his baby today yay. She is gorgeous. I dont have much just to say just yet lol I will blog more soon, brakes suck on my car so I have to get a ride to work

best way to make money

is sign up for GDI I just started and I am like already making money its the coolest
heres my link
robertbassett.ws
its awesome try it out for 7 days no charge

I hate being sick

Its like 3 days straight of me being sick except this time I am going to work feeling all crappy. idk I dont have much to say just yet

update

I am down to 183 when a month ago i weighed about 210 205 so im on a roll, its 7 in the morning and i just got up, i know early right but its all cool I went to sleep to early last night. Yesterday I watched two Good movies, The first one was freedom writers, that was a very good movie and than I watched the last house on the left which also was a good movie, a bit weird though but it was ok. On a personal note I feel like crap because I am sick again, I am not sure what is up with my body but I think I have like low white blood cell count or something, its like for the past month I am sick every other week when usually I never get sick, I just sneezed like five times in this whole blog already. Its crazy. Now smoking almost done 4 a day well yesterday I was off and I smoked like 5. I am really hoping I can stick with it, and like not go back to a pack a day or something. I have been trying to hang out with some old friends lately but they just dont seem interested in having anything to do with me anymore so I have givin up. I feel like florida is taking forever to get to, i have so much i have to do within a months time that its stressful but its gotta be soon, very soon. My mother and I had one of our deep talks yesterday and she finally agrees with me leaving to florida. I want her supoort before I go. I posted a blog about Jessica and she is stalking me, like a thousand texts a day, and its getting annoying. My cars brakes are shot out and they need to be replaced, I dont even like driving it, and I think what happened the other day was the main event I was going to work and some a hole peeled out in front of me and I had to like literally slam on the brakes and ever since they are like scratching, it sounds like the girl from the grudge is living in my tires. A update on my job, my store manager no longer hates me we are actually getting along. Thats a plus especially for my transfer which is gonna be really different because I am transferring to a food lion thats like located right beside the beach and yea thats cool but its gonna be nothing but tourist the whole time, with attitudes more than likely. Who knows. The main thing I am doing is keeping God right beside me at every choice I make and everything I do, sometimes it gets hard when my mind starts to wonder off but somehow God saves me when that happens, like my brakes go bad and it makes me think well crap I need new brakes instead of thinking about other things. A plus? maybe lol. Its now time to admit that I do not want to be a nurse anymore, as a matter of fact I dont wanna be in the hospital field, I have decided to go with music. Its like when I play the guitar or I start playing with fruity loops or something I always get in this world where I am happy which on the inside most of the time I am not, I fake smiles everyday just to pass by but behind closed doors you will see my frown, I need to do what makes me happy. I dont think nursing would anymore. My mom told me we all fall and we get hurt and she told me I have to pick myself up and I really feel like maybe I have just been crawling, I mean ya im doing things to make me a better person as far as trying to quit cussing and smoking and losing weight and stuff like that but those are just things on the outside, I need to learn how to make my heart beat and be ok with just me. I will succeed. I promise

Funny Day

Although nothing like crazy happened, but I had to train one of our stockers today, well because he needs some help with stocking, anywho thats not funny but on a not funny note, I have realized lately that I am much more energized probably because of running my butt off all the time and well like when I am at work I just am like super hyper all the time its insane, I constantly run like everywhere I go at work. Anyway me and fred go outside to take a smoke break. (fred is a coworker of mine who actually got me a ivory ring which is made from elephant tusk mostly because I liked the one he had and he thinks I am a cool guy). Anywho there is a girl named tiffany that I work with, Note there are two tiffany's, a african american and a caucasion, I am not fond of the caucasion because well I have my reasons. I dont even think I am spelling caucasion right annnywho, tiffany is outside picking up her friend from work jessica and not the jessica i have previously blogged about but another african american Jessica, anyway I am not racist I love black people it just seems more convenient to say african american than black, but she drives like a 98 accord or something and she is outside while me and fred are smoking our cigg (btw down to 6 a day) next week is five. Well she is blaring the song wasted by gucci man which no I dont drink anymore but its a very cool song so fred starts like dancing and everything beside her car and she is laughing and I jump on her car on the top where her sunroof is dancing (like i know what im doing lol) and customers walk outside just like eying us down like we just got down smoking crack. anyway the song ends and i end my weird dancing, so we go back in and I listen to my mp3 player while i stock and I am stocking with fred for training him and I just am dancing everywhere and singing but I dont know how to do either. Well thats about it for now peace.
Robster sign off



click

well

those weird stupid ignorant comments can end now. mind your own business whoever you are, and I have a general pretty good idea, go play in traffic

Sad

So like for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been running before I go to work or like early in the morning well I usually pick this spot off of columbia rd beside firehouse to run at, its like in the suburbs area. Anyway I was off today and I am like well I am gonna go run but I didnt feel like driving out there this time, so I thought I could go to the grovetown trails. Which I havent been there in a long time and I really dont like going there or would I want to normally but I thought I could handle it afterall it was just to run. Well I get there and like I immediately start thinking about the past but I was like Im gonna be ok I can do this, so I cut on my mp3 player and started running, and I get down the trails and all and I see a puddle not a very big one like the one from a long time ago but big enough, and when I saw it like I just stopped and just sat down and started thinking about things, Still to this day I feel confused, I pray and God hasnt sent me one sign not to move to florida so I guess thats a plus, but just my life really feels just sucky. October is coming up and I really really hope I am not here on a special date off the month. I talked to an old friend yesterday, and she has had her problems in her relationship but they are getting through it, which I am proud for them. She was telling me that I will find someone for me, I told her that I am not looking. and she said well they will come to you and Immediately I thought if they did I would just run away, Like i just did 2 weeks ago. I feel like I could never trust anyone. I have so many insecurities it drives me insane. I know that I want what I cannot have and I have come to terms with that, but why do sometimes I still feel as if I need it, especially when the thing you think you want or may need doesnt even care and is already with another person. Its really hard letting go but I think its safe to say that when I do move, I know I wont be with anyone probably till after college, but hopefully the new surroundings will help me start over.

Rascal Flats-I'm movin on

I havent done anything about news lately

So I am tired and I just wanted to talk about the 90% of money being traced with cocaine on it. What that means is, little pieces of cocaine are on 90% of the currency we handle today, which makes since becuase I always feel high when I get paid, and I get really excited and when the money is gone well I feel bummed so I guess that makes since

There was a girl named annie

today has been like really boring, I watched the x men last stand which is old but hey its a good movie. My title is after a song by safety suit that is like always playing on my phone by mistake, haha...I really dont have to much more to say sooo well goodnight

today

really was probably the funniest day in a while, so I am at brandons and oscar and jason come over, well there is like the biggest frog in the pool so me and oscar are tossing it up in the air for it to land back in the water like it was hilarious. well than brandon is like OMG what are you doing and we are like well we are tossing up a frog so brandon goes to do it but he throws it a little off course and it smacks the concrete and oscars like omg we gotta put it out its missery so than brandon just chunks it at his house and hits the wall and hits the pavement again and well it was sad. I cried, not really, anyway I dont understand why someone will say there better than that but when they started the drama. weird? yes. anywho I am probably going to brandons later around midnight or so and oscar said he is coming back but we will seee

ALRIGHTYYY

*cracks knuckles*. You may or may not read this. If not I dont care, I apologize that I live in a world where I dont date my best friend. Really I am. If that lets you down than I hope you can find a way to stand back up. You did this same crap to another ex and really its immature, if your going to pose like your something religious or christian or a good person, than start acting like it, I honestly could care less anymore, but it is annoying, why are you mad seriously? seems to me like your just settling for someone because I am not stupid enough to come back to you, you treat all your bfs like crap and dude and please watch out its coming, seriously though its like I dont have anything to do with you, I dont talk to you at all and you still make statuss about me, golly whats next a teddy bear, knock it off. Since everything was a lie and did what you did was beyond wrong and what goes around comes around but I wont be the person to come around to proove that theory so maybe it will be God or someone idk yet. A helpful pointer though, "since your over me" dont make statuss about me or even attempt to care about what I do. Now my best friend Brandon. Thats what he is, and see the thing is I was so confused about what a best friend was until I met him. He is always there for me, a call away and helps with everything I need help with, but thats what he is, a best friend. What you try to do is this, you say and do things just to try to make yourself feel better (because deep down you realize your a really bad person) and heyyy thats ok that your a bad person. there are tthhouuussannds and millions of them out there. Not saying your the worst person in the world but your rankings get higher each year, i am sure in 2020 you will be a axe murder that just killed a whole entire state and wears the face around yours. Now I did read a blog of yours a while back about our relationship and how it rolled down hill and smacked into a wall of concrete. First off why dont you tell the world of why it did. so let me. You kept leading someone on (which you date now which actually makes me feel better for him Good job) but you cheated when I never did. ahh I think thats one thing that pulls me along this road of life along with my best friend is the fact that I Robbie didnt do anything wrong and honestly just makes me feel like a better person which *cough* *cough* I know I am. Now yes at one point I said man I wish I never dated you or fell for the way I did, but I am glad I did because that way when I move and the time does come for me to have a gf in jacksonville you taught me who and who not to fall for, I learned that I need to open a book before I buy it, I hope that theory makes since. You cant sit there and say in a blog OMG robbie wanted me to get rid of someone that I couldnt get rid of and biggidyblabla without saying in your cool blogs about why I wanted you to do those things now granted, the world knows yall are together and heyy all jokes and hatred aside I hope it works out. now honestly I dont think you have much of a heart, I mean thats just me and my opinion along with plenty others I am sure. Look this blog was meant to be like this. So here we go, Dont start rumors about me and my bestfriend to make you look or feel better about yourself. If you pose like the christian girl and the wonderful person than try to act like one, granted your previous actions just make you the devil but everyone can convert. Its called changing religions so say this prayer, God please help me and make me not a bad person but a good person, make me a heart to actually love with and care about people, I know I seem like a bad person to alot of pe.ople with the exception of my family and One but I want the world to know and see that deep down I can be a good person. Now convert take the time.............................................................................................................................................................
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ok feel better? I hope so I am glad you converted so perhaps now you can make statuss and put songs on your profiles like your a christian. Maybe now you can do unto others as you would have them done unto you, but we will see, Dont talk about me nor make some stupid statuss anymore and when your heart does beat maybe a total of 5 times a day I dont want to be the reason for a millisecond for the beat, Im out
Robbie sign off click

strange

I hate having bad dreams, I really do, especially dreams that just make no since, its 8 in the morning and I just woke up after getting out of work at like almost five, and I dont think I can go back to bed. Its like why do I have to dream about you, its retarded come on OVER A MONTH AHH. Anyways I am listening to seal kiss from a rose and I LOVE IT. I like listening to really old stuff and like brand new stuff because if I listen to anything in the middle it will probably bring up memories I dont feel like reliving. Um what else is new? My dog is sick :( sucks because hes the only living thing that loves me (except for my family and friend?) only one friend really ha, but its alllll cool, I havent spoke to jessica lately :( i feel bad):........ Did you know that when it snows........(part of the song). Well I think I am getting off lets see if I can go back to sleep without having a retarded dream

its a new day

and i wish I didnt have to go to work, although I havent been to work since last thursday I dont even wanna go today. thats it for now nothing new

I wish it was different

I havent blogged about this person since I have hung out with her. No one knows about this until now because eventually I will tell this person to read this blog because you have no idea how to find it, jessica you dont even have a twitter, but I wont tell you to read it until I am in Jacksonville. When we met two years ago well over two years ago in like 11th grade lol we were friends for a little bit, and well you find me on myspace and we just decide to hang out, Jessica first off I want to personally tell you that you are a grreeaatt person. I told you the first night that we hung out 2 weeks ago that we were just friends and I told you about my position and how I feel about a relationship and you agreed. Jessica I know tonight crushed you and if you read this I am actually writing it on the date when everything went down august 9 2009. I am not going to lie to you if you would of shown up a year ago i would be with you in a heartbeat. I totally would, Your in college, NICE CAR. nice parents, your personality is hilarious, your sweet, attractive, say the funniest things, your very caring, but to be honest I cant be with you, at least not now well when you finally read this I wont be here. Maybe one day there is a road but it cant be in this city. Im sorry. Yesterday at the mall you said you fell for me. I am sorry that you did I really am. I dont understand how because all we have done is just hang out watch movies take walks in your town. Yes we did some pretty funny things with the dude at the gas station and the girl that drove by us in the mustang and just yesterday when you made the joke about my cat being fat and you really had me laughing for like an hour. You say you love me and stuff and it realllly scares me because I am no way shape or form ready to love or be in a relationship. If I could forget the things that have happened to me than I would actually for once kiss you and be with you. I told you I cant kiss anyone and I gave you my reasons, and well you told me you would wait for me which in all honesty is the sweetest thing anyones said to me in a while. Jessica tonight you gave me a note and it was like 6 pages long, and it really made me cry, because of the things you said, tonight I told you that i didnt want us hanging out anymore because i didnt want you to fall any harder for me and that I wasnt falling for you, il get it clear, I like you alot, I really do, I would love to be with you, But I ask God and I am just not ready, I cant give you love if my love is towards someone that doesnt really exist anymore. I want to call it bad timing for you I really do, if maybe you met me a year ago, it would of saved me a major heartbreak and I honestly believe I could last with you. If I wasnt leaving and we just took it slow than i could definitely be with you, but I cant be here, It would be wrong for me to be with you and think of another person the whole time, Jessica when you read this i want you to understand something, You are amazing. You actually made me smile which is something I havent been able to do lately. You will find someone to give you love and be with you, Ima be honest I want it to be me but it cant be. I made this blog so long for you because you gave me a 6 page note. Im sorry tonight didnt turn out like how you wanted, take care and you will read this when i actually give you the url for it take care.

The strangest night ever

So its almost ten in the morning and I have not went to bed yet. so I am going to recap what has happened to me over night, it was 4 in the morning about to go to sleep, a friend calls me, (during this blog I will not mention his name due to I dont want anyone that knows him to question him about it because he asked me to not say anything but its a blog and no one will know anyway). I havent talked to this friend in over 2 months. I pick up and he is crying, My friend drank like a half thing of vodka and smoked alot of pot. At first I am like yea hes messing with me, weirdly he tells me he is beside our old high school in the woods half naked. noww ive seen a prank call video before where this kid tells his friends mom that he is in the woods naked. So im like yea hes messing with me and I tell him to knock it off, but he starts crying louder begging for me to come get him, so im like omg hes being for real. So i get there at 430 or so, and I see his car in the woods I see him sitting by a tree, and he has just boxers on and thats it with his keys in his hand and his phone. So I begin to freak. I get him into my car, and he tells me that his girlfriend of 6 months broke up with him, and I hate to say thats when it hit me that im actually handling everything pretty well, yea im depressed but im not going out getting high and drunk, now I care about my friend dearly, he vomits all inside my car, ( i cleaned it out before I got home), and he is so gone he doesnt remember how to get back home, and I havent been to his house, and I couldnt bring him to mine because my mother is up by than and that would look weird. So i get his phone and go through his contacts and I see a contact labeled mom, She picks up tired, and I didnt know what to say except Hey you dont know me at all but your son has drank alot of vodka and smoked pot, and he called me to help him because he was in the woods and couldnt drive and he was half naked. Now of course his mother thinks its a prank, so I get pissed, and say look mam, its not a effin prank your kid is throwing up all in my car tell me where you live, so I get to there house, which is in harlem not to far away from the school, and his mom is outside, she comes to my car and helps me put him into a shower, he gets out the shower and passes out into his room, his mother thanks me and everything and I leave, i run a stop sign and get pulled over, (no ticket) but the officer gives me a field sobriety test due to my car smelling like alcohol (great right) he lets me go, so I am driving towards home now and guess who calls my friends mother, asking if I could find his wallet, so I drive back up to the school, and Robbie sees my friends car get stolen...yes sucks but I do find his wallet where he was at originally so I call back and tell her his car is stolen and I tell her I am way to tired that she needs to call the police, guess what cop shows up at there house, ahhhh the cop that pulls me over for running a stop sign, they fill out a police report and everything and finally I am like yes I am going home so I leave my mother calls and ask if I can get her a pack of ciggarettes because I told her I was actually coming back from a friends house, so I go to the gas station out in harlem, and well I see my friends car just sitting there, so I call the cops 911 lol, and they come up there and as soon as they get there the guy walks out sees the cops and just falls on the ground ready to be arrested, most people would laugh about this night, but to be honest, its a learning experience. I guess although things right now suck for me, it could be worse. Goodbye

I dont know

I keep thinking about someone who is gone and never coming back, but why is it just so difficult to let this person go. Been a month and I still think about her alllllllll day. I was told by loved ones it would get easier as time continues, but lately feels like its getting harder.

I am not really sure

who I am becoming, like is it a new me, I guess im ok with it, I dont talk much, I used to have like the craziest sense of humor, but I just dont say much to many people, a year ago if I looked at the person I am now I wouldnt wanna be this way, the biggest thing on my list right now is to achieve in school. So I guess I will just have to be quiet lol, i dont like talking much anymore, most guys my age are out drinking having a good time and what not, I stay at home just watching movies from the redbox, like everynight for the past 3 or 4 weeks I rent a movie, last night I just watched the charlie bartlett movie or something like that, it was funny, My room is just to empty with boxes everywhere, I think its just a matter of time right now but its coming, people ask me all the time if I am scared to go out on my own, like leave a place where I grew up, I mean yeaaa I'll miss some of the friends and especially my family, actually my family is what I will miss the most, I have my reasons why I just have to leave augusta, someone once said everything happens for a reason. (out of everything that person ever said thats probably the only thing I will ever believe). I honestly have to say that it makes since for things to be the way they are. Sucks but we all have to admit how life can be sometimes. I have to start taking my life experiences and start using them towards the future. I think my last bad experience taught me, to take time to get to know a person very well, and see there character and how they handle things before I fall for someone. I said I dont regret things but I still regret loving and falling the way I did. but its the past and this is the future so i have to go to work soon later

another day

so yesterday around 9 I went to my friends house to help out with some furniture and some other stuff and than went home and basically slept the whole day away, well I woke up at 5 this morning and than stayed up till 7 and went back to bed and woke up a couple hours ago, I gotta work today. I hate my job only because sometimes I see people that I do not want to see, I wish that would stop but I probably need to be putting in my two weeks here soon within a couple days. So I got transferred and got a job down there, but I dont know if thats what I wanna do while I am down there but at least I already have a job lined up and everything so that is a plus. Before I go to work a friend wants me to take him to the pawnshop to sell his ex wifes ring, (should pull a robbie and throw it out the window on the highway) ahahahaha. or previously columbia rd whatever he prefers. oh well ima go start this day

just

got off work, at about 430 or so, and I am exhausted. I had one of my nightmares last night, UGGGHHH stupid old lady, floating and crap, anyway I watched that movie called the wash and OMG it was hilariously funny. Eminem does a fantastic job in movies

Not really wanting too...

go to work, ugh its gonna be all night there today. I just got up like an hour ago and now im getting ready to go to work.

Robert Manwill

Apparently they found his body an autopsy is supposed to be performed next week sometime to completely identify if it is his him, now they just have to find the murderer

a movie

So just got done watching pelham 123, its really good to watch movies lately, gets my mind off of reality, see the whole time I was thinking I was in a subway being held hostage which seems pretty cool. Its almost 6 I need to be getting to bed soon, tommorow is going to be a loooooonnnnnggggggggg day and im really not ready for it lol.

happy day

So today I got up and my best friend brandon had already dissapeared sooo I got up and was out the door in under five minutes, because I had to help a friend out with things, Came back home got dressed for work, while driving to work I went to the gas station to get me a vault, and I saw the cutest couple, when I say cute I dont mean like they were good lookin or something like that, but they really seemed like they have something going for them, like the girl was in line with him and they were stomping on eachothers toes and stuff, but when the girl looked at him you could tell they were truly in love with eachother, I believe that true love last a lifetime, and it doesnt fade and you cant just fall out of it, so I got in my car and just started thinking why have I been upset, If it was true love than it would have lasted forever right? I think im right lol. So and update on jacksonville, all my stuff is packed, ( I think I did it to early but what the heck). So on a girl note, there is a girl who likes me still after basically being a retard and crying like a panzee, I told her I was moving about a week ago and she really hasnt spoken to me, which is fine. I had a convo with a dear friend of mine named P.J. He told asked me why wont I like hang out with a girl, kiss a girl or something. A couple reasons, one well I am moving (thats the main thing). I made a quote kinda, "its not falling for someone that scares me, its falling and hitting concrete at the end". I believe that really scares me now. The ex moved on and is with someone which through all the fighting and arguing if thats what she wants to do than its all gravy. My feelings were deeper and thats why its more difficult, I cant blame the breakup on one person or her or anyone or me, its just not what God wants me to do. Yea at first I was like ok we will be back together soon or something but as time goes on I see that it would never happen with the way things are going and esp with her having a bf and what not so I take it as Gods sign for me to not worry about it and just be done with it, which as of today its the past and I am looking in the future, now honestly I dont see me in a relationship for a vvvveeerrrrryyyyy long time not because im not over the ex or anything like that but just because, i feel like on my body there is a sign for woman that say break this heart. Thats what happens, and I mean i dont really wanna go through it again, but some say dude you cant just like give up on relationships and just because your tired of being hurt doesnt mean you cant be with someone, and Im like ummm yes it does because a heart can only take so much, I mean yes I could fall for someone when I move in jacksonville and the girl like heal my heart and make it better and all that goo goo gaa gaa stuff, but if you wreck a car so many times and it gets repaired its gonna break down eventually so BAM lol. What I am going to be doing in this year of 2010, well I will already be in florida, I already have a job thats a plus. But I am getting a kawasaki ninja 250r (by the way I was like a millimeter away for signing the contract for the tiburon until I looked at the gas mileage on it OMG horrible). (maybe one day) any way the NINJA. It is lovely. Now that is the exact one that they have in jacksonville for only 3000 brand new. So its gonna be mine, first when I get down there I have to take a motorcycle license. But that is enough for this blog ha. I am probably going to bed soon after watching a movie called the wash that fred at work told me about

so...

I am thinking about making a new investment, A 250r ninja bike. In jacksonville they have a dealership for one that seems very interesting, I can get one for 3 grand out the door and I am seriously considering it, I think that would be pretty awesome lol.

right now

brandon is the weirdest person ever, just kidding, so ive been doing a lot of praying here from today and yesterday after I found some news, and I have to thank God right now because well he is amazing. Its like it hurts but I feel better knowing that I am not the person in the wrong and it makes me better. anywho everything in my room is packed and ready to go. its alot of fun looking at a empty room.

my room looks empty

packing and my room is just blank. its fun kinda. I have been listening to peoples advice on things, and actually I know that I am a better person than some. Anyway this packing thing feels like it takes forever. It will be worth it though. I already got a job in jacksonville OHHH SNAP. haha. well ill blog a little later about news and worthless stuff that doesnt make since

To that someone

You once showed me a song by Craig David, Im walking away. No I not running and yes I am walking away. You say you werent in love with me like I was in love with you. Fair? perhaps. Therefor it is easier for you to move on and well soon is a start of something new right? I already know what that is. So I am mentally prepared for it and I will be gone by the time that comes. (thank God). Correct I asked you to get rid of something. Something that was destroying our relationship over and over and over etc etc. I cared actually to much about you. I cared to much about us. I wanted us to work therefor I thought of the things that could make us work and get rid of the things that negatively affect us. As time went by of you not doing it, thats what killed the person you once loved. ALLL of your love and affection was towards something else and I could not win you over anymore. I guess I really wasnt that crazy. (Jimmy Wayne). Let me just put it this way. You seem like you found someone to be with, and me personally I cant be with anyone so why wont you let me do something that will make me happy, because I cant be here. You say face your problems. I cant because you dont love me so thats it on it. All I ask is that you let me move on since you already moved on to someone else.

Florida

I grew up there. I spend alot of my life in ocala. I am moving back but not to Ocala but to Jacksonville beach. Its going to be a experience. People ask why I am leaving, I really cant come up with a good excuse, im just heart broken and I dont wanna relive the memories here everyday, its to painful.

oh so little

I have done everything in my power to let her go. I dont speak to her. I try my best to avoid the memories, the laughter, the cries everything. I go alternate routes where ever I go to avoid seeing anywhere she might be, but still even after so long of that last kiss, I hear her name and whatever I have accomplished crumbles to nothing. Its so different because I was truly in love for once in my life. Thinking the whole time she was in love with me as well, turned out to be a joke from her end but still I cry myself to sleep. I dont regret ever being with her, ever dating her, kissing her. I am glad I did all the things I have done with her. I just wish and pray I could go back and put my hand to my heart and guard it, I wish I could go back and not fall the way I did, I wish I could go back and not close my eyes when I kissed her. Wish I could go back and just keep my distance and maybe only love her the way she loved me, which was oh so little